India, part 3

You also need the bargaining.

Do you remember the show Gladiator. I think that was what it was called, but it consisted of contestants going on a TV show to participate in a range of trials and competitions to see who could come out the strongest and most physically capable. One of the most interesting games was when two competitors would stand on two small platforms high up in the air, each with a long staff between their sweat slicked hands, the staff wrapped in cushions on each end. They would try to knock each other off, but if you swung too hard you could fall off yourself and if you swung too weak your ass was also vulnerable to your opponents counterattack. The game was a test of your ability to predict the other persons moves, react accordingly, and to know your own limits of attack before exposing yourself.

Such is the game of bargaining. It's a tough game mind you, tougher than anything you might experience on Gladiator. Some have the knack for it, and always come out on top, some just sink before they even start, you can tell from the kind demeanor they have as they approach the vendor. The vendor knows he's in for a treat when he spies these types. They don't make eye contact, they are not confident because they don't know the going rate, they don't know exacty what they want, and therefore are easily swayed by the vendors effortlessly glib pitches about items that the buyer most certainly doesn't need and most certainly never ever even wanted. On the flip-side, you have your purchasers who could make the vendor feel like he just entered his game. The guy who knows the going rate. The guy who knows what he wants, can turn any serious statement of the seller into a joke, the kind of guy who can turn any lie into an truth and any truth into a lie. I feel like I'm describing a politician. But that's what you need. I you don't want to get screwed, or if you want to screw the other person, those are some of the skills you need to survive in an Indian bazaar. It's not a game for those who don't like stress and certainly not a game for those who don't want to argue with people. It's a game best for lawyers, politicians, or mothers who have a keen eye on their budget for the day. Was it a game for me? I'll be honest, sometimes I was quite proud, and sometimes, I felt like a fish in a pond of sharks. But hey, I couldn't even speak Hindi, so I'm not too hard on myself.

India is poor, and I learned to respect that. People have hard lives, and I learned to respect that. You have to respect that if you're going to bargain with other people when you know they have infinitely less money than you. I lived in India for 3 weeks with the equivalent of 200 dollars, granted I always had free shelter and free food for the most part, and this was just the money for travel, gifts and occasional eating outside. Still, that's pretty good. In order to see my point of view, you have to say to yourself, well, this guy works hard and is making money, and I'm not going to disrespect his profession by offering more money than the going rate, basically treating him like he's a beggar, and I'll give him what I owe him. I guess I didn't want to pity people because they were poor. It's hard to explain, it may sound like an excuse to save my own money, but feeling sorry for people doesn't really help anymore. I feel cold, knowing my privilege over their's, but if you respect people's dignity, you really will help people help themselves. The best type of giving I think is in that fashion. In the heat of it all I still couldn't bargain with a ricksha driver, the guys that do the hard labor, nor did I even want the stress of it all. And of course, just giving doesn't hurt all the time. But I didn't want to pity people because they are poor. It can take away your dignity, but it doesn't have to.

I helped my cousins and nieces and nephews learn English, which will help them get ahead when it comes time to go to college. I never thought of teaching English as actually helping people, but if I truly believed in education as helping people, than that would help them, especially practically. Not that I want to teach English for the rest of my life. I guess there are lots of professions that are helping people, it just depends on your motivation, whether you're doing it for money or to actually help. There are people in the education business who are in it for money, I've talked to some teachers who have had experiences with them, but trust me, compared to other professions, there are a lot less. Some of the teachers here have blown me away with how caring they are, and how little they recieve for how good they are as people. It's a bit crazy, as I meet more and more people like this, the more I feel ashamed of my at times self-righteous attitude and the less I look up to people who are known in textbooks and stuff. Teachers deal with this stuff everyday and most people do nothing but claim their profession is easy. I guess they don't know what motivates teachers, at least the ones who care.

I feel a lot better with what I'm doing here, a lot more motivated, with viewing it as helping people (I'll be honest, when I first came here I didn't view it in exactly that way), I can feel a lot more creative and motivated. I don't think money will ever motivate me, I can just subsist on so little!

Don't get me wrong, I'll be the first to tell you that this type of helping doesn't come close to people who work in group homes or in development organizations, or who do a million other things that takes a lot of giving, but it's still a small part of the total pie.

India taught me a lot of other things, still needing to be pieced together. Kids are the same everywhere, they're all little brats that care so much if you care for them, and the little ones dont mind if they walk around naked and pee on themselves, or on you. I saw at least 4 naked boys in the Agematsu nursery school today, one of which was quite proud to show his penis to anyone who wanted to, or didn't want to look. It's getting harder to write about India as time passes, it feels like so long ago and the descriptive and vivid aspect of my memories are becoming less and less while the whole experience is becoming intellectualized and fitted into what it needs to be fitted into, my whole world-view. It's funny how quickly you readjust when you have to. Don't get me wrong, I miss India and will quickly go back to it, it's just harder to write about the experiences descriptively when your everyday experiences are here. It would be much easier to write about my day at the nursery school, the playground, the fact that I'm upset that they get to eat udon for lunch while I never get it at the shogakko or the chugakko, can you believe they even get to eat ramen and pasta? I have to eat rice everyday. Lucky little monsters...

But India is far from over, there's just more of Japan now.